Games Journalists Struggle For Star Wars Angle On Current News
Games journalists across the Internet have been tearing their hair out today, as all the good, SEO-friendly Star Wars angles on current news and events have already been used.
With The Force Awakens only releasing in cinemas four days ago, low-hanging fruit like ‘Star Wars Makes An Unsurprisingly Large Amount Of Money At The Box Office‘ and ‘Remember The Star Wars Music? It’s Good And You Can Listen To It‘ were quickly plucked, leaving content creators desperately searching for more.
“I’ve resorted to just searching YouTube for ‘Star Wars’ and sorting by popularity,” explained one exhausted writer to Point & Clickbait. “Musicals. Comedies. Fan theories. Bad lip reading. Whatever. You know.”
“Vines, too. You gotta see these vines, man. They’re just…”
He interrupted the interview for a moment to light a cigarette with shaky hands. The flare of the lighter briefly illuminated his dead, sunken eyes.
“Vines. Star Wars Vines. Best Star Wars Vines 2015. The Force Awakens Vines. Movies Of 2015 You Need To See. You Won’t Believe How Star Wars And The Avengers Are Tenuously Linked. Help me die.”
It’s understood that the Christmas break will provide the content creators with the much-needed rest and “sweet release of death” that they crave, but with Disney planning annual releases of Star Wars movies, many are already beginning to despair.
“At least the next one will be set in between the older films,” explained one exhausted engagement consultant, wiping soot from her face and running a hand through matted hair.
“We can just barf out clips from Revenge of the Sith and A New Hope or whatever. Make a crack about how the prequels were bad. People love to argue about those. The engagement metrics will be off the chain.”
“Hey, do you have any cyanide?”