Man Courageously Overcomes Lack of Legal Rights, Skills Or Experience To Ask Total Strangers For $200,000
A 20-year old gamer has battled against the odds today to launch a Kickstarter for a new Star Wars open-world RPG, despite lacking any game development skills, experience, or even the rights to the Star Wars license.
“People have been coming up to me and saying I don’t know the first thing about game development, saying I’m only asking for enough money to pay, like, four people, tops,” the 20-year old explained to Point & Clickbait.
“Those are good points. I’ve been pondering them myself. I agree that it is absolutely unrealistic to expect that what I’m promising will ever be delivered. But look: wouldn’t it be cool? It would be cool. Please give me $200,000 in cold hard cash through this accountability-free crowd-funding platform.”
The 20-year old has brushed off assertions by critics that “everything about this is terrible” and “what are you even doing”.
“Sure, an open-world RPG of the scope I’m imagining would require a team of several hundred developers working over five or six years, and a budget in the hundreds of millions,” he explained. “But I’ve got something my critics don’t have: the Star Wars license.”
“Wait, sorry. No, I don’t have that.”
Disney’s lawyers are currently closing in on the 20-year old’s position with what observers describe as “the relentless bloodlust of a feeding shark”, but the unstoppable brand power of Star Wars hasn’t stopped 73 savvy investors from pledging $16,000 to the project.
“I have complete faith in this venture,” said one enthusiastic backer, their eyes slightly glazing over from a recent head injury. “It sounds great to me. Open world? RPG? Star Wars? Can’t lose.”
“Hurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr,” they concluded, enthusiastically.
Did you like this article? All of our equally good jokes from 2016 are now on Kickstarter in magazine form! Think of how attractive and powerful you would be with such an artefact in your possession! (Very)