Bear Grylls Enthusiastically And Unsolicitedly Endorses The Witness After Seeing Jonathan Blow’s Jar Of Piss

A lip-smacking and eager-eyed Bear Grylls has today thrown his unequivocal and unasked-for support behind The Witness, upcoming puzzle game from indie auteur Jonathan Blow, best known for his work with Braid and also his apparent habit of pissing in a jar.

“When I first heard about The Witness I was pretty ambivalent about it. Yeah, puzzles, story, sure, whatever.”

“Then I saw that tall frosty glass of yellow goodness and I had no choice but to say yes. Yes, I will throw my sponsorship behind this amazing game. Yes, I do want to drink an entire glass of Jonathan Blow’s piss. No, I have not asked him for permission.”

Media observers have described Blow’s decision to publicise the fact that he can’t be bothered to get up to piss as “a pretty weird marketing strategy” but say that it “plays well with the quirky artist crowd”.

“There’s very little you could tell me about Jonathan Blow that I wouldn’t believe,” commented one thoughtful journalist. “Quite frankly I’d be surprised if he hasn’t got a basement full of those jars, or bottles filled to various levels that he can blow on to make different musical notes.”

Blow has not responded to Gryll’s frantic doorknocking and panting sounds at the time of printing.

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