Proud Owner Of New Gaming PC Proudly Watches It Becoming Obsolete Before Her Very Eyes

Local woman Levi Riley is the beaming from ear to ear today after successfully assembling her incredible, top-of-the-line, new gaming PC, which lost 5% of its value during the 90 minutes it took to build.

“I don’t know what game I’m going to try first, but you can bet I’ll be cranking it to maximum settings and letting this beast eat it up without even breaking a sweat,” said Riley, her smile faltering only slightly as she learned that a newer and better graphics card was coming out next week.

Observers report that a proud and “completely satisfied” Riley has used the raw power of her incredible gaming rig to open a browser window and check the latest prices on components. “Ha ha ha,” laughed the clearly thrilled Riley, enjoying every minute of her new experience.

Latest reports from the scene suggest that Riley, overwhelmed with happiness, has taken to staring into space and rocking back and forth, presumably part of some ritual to ready herself for the sheer amount of polygons her new computer will be able to generate.

At the time of writing, Riley’s computer is now worth $17.

Did you like this article? All of our equally good jokes from 2016 are now on Kickstarter in magazine form! Think of how attractive and powerful you would be with such an artefact in your possession! (Very)

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