Ubisoft Apologises For Realistic Vaginas In Watch Dogs 2: “We Should Have Stopped At Realistic Breasts”

Ubisoft have profusely apologised for allowing a “particularly explicit” texture of a woman’s vagina to make it into the launch version of Watch Dogs 2, agreeing that they “went too far” in creating models for their game which also features highly realistic, interactive strippers.

“Our team just got so carried away building all of these strip clubs, and animating the scantily clad women who dance in them, that they accidentally went on to also create a realistic representation of a woman’s vagina.”

“We apologise profusely for making it possible to see a woman’s vagina, instead of just her breasts and bottom, all of which are gyrating rhythmically, using motion capture data from real strippers.”

“We crossed the line when we included a woman’s vagina in addition to of all that. It’s clear now that we should move away from realistic genitalia and stick to less controversial content instead, like realistic breasts, and realistic gun violence.”

The move has been widely welcomed by gamers, who were finding themselves banned by Sony for sharing pictures of the Watch Dogs 2 vaginas.

“The PlayStation 4 Terms of Use clearly forbid the showing of sexual content,” explained a Sony spokesperson in a comment.

“To avoid this kind of situation happening in future, please cover the woman’s vagina with clothing, and then violently run her over and mutilate her corpse with bullets,” they continued.

“This will help us to keep our shared PS4 content safe and accessible to all.”

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