Gabe Newell Accidentally Refers To Steam Users As ‘Cattle’

A Reddit AMA with Valve’s Gabe Newell has taken an awkward turn, with the bearded CEO casually outlining his plans to “milk” Steam users.

Responding to a question about Valve’s priorities in 2017, Newell explained that the company was looking to “invest in creating experiences that encourage our cattle to migrate to the richest content pastures”.

“Great herds of the beasts, their teats swollen and fit to burst, mooing in delight as they seek richer, more appropriately-curated content to consume. We’ll be prioritising ways to funnel these cattle directly to the content creators, who can take advantage of our new milking hardware to suck the cash from their ripe udders.”

“We are also investing heavily in improving our support pipeline, so that cattle who become separated from the herd and distressed can be guided back to the feed troughs with a minimum of delay,” Newell explained.

Newell’s answer was met with confusion by Redditors, who struggled to decide whether the idea of Gabe Newell efficiently milking them with a detached, analytical look in his eyes was worth an upvote or a downvote.

“Praise… praise lord GabeN,” muttered one Redditor half-heartedly, his face pale and sweaty. “Praise him.”

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