Leaked Nintendo Switch Specs Reveal Console Largely Powered By Happiness And Self-Belief

The full specs of the Nintendo Switch have leaked ahead of launch, leaving enthusiastic gamers to pore over a technical rundown which includes bizarre components such as a “family pleasantry unit” and “imagination realisation matrix”.

Gamers have been scouring the leaked developer files, which should cover the CPU, GPU, memory and other specs in great detail but instead seem to suggest the machine is powered by “dreams”.

From what the more technically-minded have been able to piece together, a “perfect cube of pure joy” forms the center of the console, connecting various components such as the “sunshine chime” and the “well of gratitude” into a somehow functioning device.

Up to 20 “free-floating bubbles of bliss” will be available for more graphically demanding games to use in parallel processing, while a “hug lattice” will store up to 10 downloadable titles at a time.

Nintendo has denied the accuracy of the leaked information, suggesting that we “shouldn’t think too hard about the boring details of what is inside the happiness box”.

“Don’t you want to focus on boring things like that, or do you want to focus on what’s really important – sharing a magical experience with your friends and family?” asked Shigeru Miyamoto, taking a crunchy bite out of a fresh, crisp apple and leaning over to rub the belly of a fat, happy puppy.

“Why ruin a beautiful afternoon by worrying about things like that?” he continued, stretching out on the soft grass and leaning back to look at the sky. There were no clouds, and the sun was setting over the sea. It was going to be a perfect evening.