10 Pro Strats To Be A Great Gamer Ally On International Women’s Day

International Women’s Day is an important time to reflect on the struggle for women’s rights both at home and abroad, and to critically examine the systems and structures of our society that act to oppress women.

It’s also a time to finally prove once and for all that you’re the best feminist in town — and we’ve got 10 handy tips to let you do just that. Let’s get started!

1. Ask to see only ONE tit, rather than both tits at once.

Women often suffer under from unwelcome sexual harassment in games. You can do your part by showing that you’re the sort of man who is willing to compromise with what’s best for her. It’s only a little thing, but she’ll appreciate it.

2. Let her win the gender wage gap argument for one night.

Women don’t have the emotional detachment or stamina to argue like men do. Be a good ally on International Women’s Day by smiling and patting her head when she complains about consistently low pay for women’s work, murmuring words that sound agreeable but aren’t legally binding. You know the gender wage gap is a myth, and she does too — even if she’s too emotional to see it. You can always argue again tomorrow.

3. ‘Lean in’ by leaning over the top of her and showing her how the mouse and keyboard works.

Feminists love to tell other, mostly poorer women, to ‘lean in’ and do their bit, but secretly, women really want you to ‘lean in’ as well — and that means leaning over them, right over them, taking the mouse and keyboard out of their hands and showing them how to play while remaining draped over the top of them.

4. Support your favourite all-female esports team by going and liking all their old Instagram photos of them at the beach.

The emerging world of women’s esports is still in its infancy and desperately needs support from dedicated gamers like you who are willing to go back as far through the archives for the cleavage shots as it takes. You can do this!

5. Demonstrate your sensitive side by playing Mercy tonight instead of Hanzo.

Women are the healers and caregivers in our society, and you can show respect for that by voluntarily choosing Mercy, rather than jumping straight into Hanzo and then abusing everyone else for failing to provide a healer. It’ll be good for you to see the world from a woman’s point of view for once, and will make you a better ally.

6. Make a Facebook post about how you don’t see gender.

You treat everyone with respect, regardless of what their gender is — and International Women’s Day is absolutely the best time to tell everyone about this.

7. Help expand her horizons by uninstalling her favourite game and installing a better one.

Some women have trouble asking for help, and there’s no bigger cry for help than still playing Elite: Dangerous even though the vastly superior (and identical) Stardew Valley is available. She may sound upset, but she’ll know that you’ve got her long term personal growth at heart.

8. Ensure the person you just shot isn’t a woman before teabagging their corpse.

It’s rude to teabag a woman at the best of times, but it’s a classic faux pas on International Women’s Day. Open up the voice chat and ask if the person is a woman or not before you start crouching over their face (if they ARE a woman, remember our first tip in this list and don’t make a fool of yourself!).

9. About to send a death threat to a woman in game development? Ease up a little and just post her address online instead.

We all have to do our part for International Women’s Day. Is that death threat really necessary when you could just post her address, along with several photos of her house? Maybe other men who aren’t as good at feminism as you are will use this information maliciously, but it’s not your responsibility.

10. Signal boost the voices of women who share your beliefs and don’t challenge them.

It’s too easy for the voices of women to be drowned out in our patriarchal society. That’s why it’s so important that when a woman comes along who says she personally hasn’t been harassed, and that she doesn’t see why feminists are so upset about Sexblade: Fuck Marathon IV, that you amplify her voice as much as possible. Being a good ally is about knowing when to let women speak, after all.

Do you have any tips for the (second-wave) feminist gamer ally in your life? Share them in the comments below!

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