Highly Trained Soldier Kills Enemies With Just The Right Amount Of Violence To Keep His Videos Monetised

Lethal killing machine Victor Gray, a highly trained special operative for a clandestine government agency, is today resorting to violently murdering his enemies with leg and body shots only so that he can keep his videos on YouTube.

According to the hard-bitten Gray, violently murdering someone in the wrong way can result in a serious hit to his finances.

“Shooting people in the head sets off the YouTube algorithm almost every time. My videos get instantly flagged as violent and I can’t earn ad revenue from them anymore,” Gray explained as he stepped on a man’s neck, carefully avoiding his face.

“Pumping a few rounds into the legs is the safest way. You can sneak in a quick stomach shot while you’re at it. The algorithm doesn’t know what to do with that. Or you can throw a grenade, as long as the people you murder stay in one piece. That’s a good trick.”

Gray explained that he found the new system “frustrating”, and that perhaps he would have an easier time completing his objectives in each level if he could just “kill the shit out of people”.

A Google spokesperson said that while they sympathised with the concerns voiced by Gray and “any other cogs who are unhappy with their assigned position in our enormous machine,” there was only so much the corporate giant could do.

“Our guidelines are very clear – advertisers don’t want to see excessive violence. If soldiers like Gray want to kill people, we support that, and we’d love to take a slice of revenue from anyone who wants to watch it.”

“But it’s all about balance. One violent murder? That’s great. Three violent murders? That’s epic. Four? Five? Well, that could be excessive. We’ll let the algorithm decide.”

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