BioWare “Not Worried” About Number Of Empty Graves In EA’s Backyard
The large number of body-sized holes being dug in the backyard of EA Games is “nothing to worry about”, according to a slightly nervous looking BioWare.
Describing the rhythmic scraping sound of the shovel hitting the dirt in the middle of the night as “soothing”, BioWare assured us that all was well.
“We understand why members of the public might be concerned about things like empty pits in the ground, scraping noises and muffled screaming, but everything really is fine,” explained BioWare, who was just looking out of their window as a “precaution”.
Point & Clickbait understands that tensions have been running high in the neighbourhood ever since Visceral Games disappeared one night last week, but BioWare says disappearances around here are “common”.
“Westwood went to the shops and never came back. Pandemic went to stay with their mum in Perth I heard… although they don’t pick up the phone anymore, which is weird. Anyway, that’s just this neighbourhood, you know? It’s a rough neighbourhood.”
“And look, if your neighbour has a hobby where they dig deep pits in their backyard and sometimes those pits are filled in one morning, and you don’t ask any questions, that’s a valid hobby. Maybe they like to stand over one of the empty pits and stare into your bedroom window. So what? It’s a healthy friendship. It makes you feel productive, absolutely ready to hit those milestones, you know?”
EA Games refused to comment when approached by Point & Clickbait, but did pause briefly from their digging to peer at reporters through a hole in the fence and then loudly load a shotgun.
Header image via DeviantArt.