Game Awards Attendees Look Forward To Celebrating Game Industry’s Night Of Nights, Watching Two Hours Of Advertising
With Spike TV rolling out the red carpet for the annual Game Awards show in downtown Los Angeles, gaming’s best and brightest are getting ready for a thrilling two hours of sharp suits, glamorous dresses, and big-budget advertising spots.
Host Geoff Keighley explained to Point & Clickbait that this year was set to be one of the best years ever, with more than a dozen major corporations all paying good money to have their products showcased in between “the talky bits”.
“Next year we’re actually thinking about reducing the number of categories even further, so we can give EA or Ubisoft or whatever 15 more minutes of stage time.”
“I mean, ‘Best Family Game’? ‘Best Esports Game?’ Who cares about that? Just give it to Destiny or whatever. The important thing is that we get another teaser trailer in there.”
Guests at the pre-show party were similarly enthusiastic, with some explaining to Point & Clickbait that they would consider it a victory just to even have their category read out, rather than being cut off to make room for more ads.
“It’s what every indie developer dreams about,” said one engine programmer. “Being here for the Game Awards. Being nominated. Being told you won’t get to receive your award on camera because Ubisoft paid to hold a live concert at the show. It’s all part of the magic.”
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
Did you like this article? All of our equally good jokes from 2016 are now on Kickstarter in magazine form! Think of how attractive and powerful you would be with such an artefact in your possession! (Very)