Games Actually Bad, Confirms New Study
Gamers have been rocked this week by a new study confirming that video games, which many had thought to be Good, are actually Bad.
The study, conducted by Dr Skip Roland for the National Institute of Studies, involved a broad survey of over 4000 different games and the people that play them. The results, he says, shocked him.
“Conventional wisdom has always suggested that games are Good”, Roland stated in his findings. “But, in fact, they’re Bad. The evidence is irrefutable.”
The news has sent waves across the gaming community, many of whom previously thought that games were Good. “I grew up playing games”, YouTube personality AMM0TR4IN tearfully told his fifteen million subscribers last night. “I always thought that they were Good things, because I enjoyed them. When I first heard this report, I thought it was bullshit, but after I gave the results a read…it turns out that games are actually Bad. There’s no denying it anymore.”
“You know”, he continued, “when I made my first million posting these videos, my dad took me aside and told me that he would never be proud of my success, because games are Bad. I guess I have to apologise to my parents now”. The video has since gone offline, along with AMM0TR4IN’s entire channel.
The repercussions of these findings are wide-reaching. Video game-focused website IGN will now cover film, TV, and comics exclusively, reasoning that these mediums “might still have value”. Nintendo has began a massive global recall of the Switch, releasing a statement explaining that while the company had intended on creating something good, “it has become clear the Switch, by virtue of being a gaming machine, is actually Bad”.
Dr Roland is disappointed in the results of his research, but stands by them. “Millions of people worldwide were playing games. Indie developers were finding ways to express themselves through their art, people were connecting with one another and having good times, and all the while none of them realised that games were actually Bad. But now we know, and there’s no need for games anymore.”
“Oh, except for Call of Duty: Black Ops II”, he quickly added. “That one’s Good. Really fun in multiplayer. The rest are Bad.”