OPINION: We Should Forgive Blizzard Now In Case Diablo 4 Is Good

Folks, hello. It’s me, Hand-Wringin’ Hank, the Cowering Critic himself, and today I want to talk about Blizzard. But woah, put down your pitchfork, friend, let’s not be too hasty–what everyone seems to be forgetting right now, as they rush to criticize this dominant developer for all their apparent wrong-doing, is that Diablo 4 might eventually be really good.

Look, I’ll be the first to admit that Blizzard isn’t entirely perfect, all the time, by the most literal definition of what it is to be “perfect”. Was it my favourite thing that ever happened when Blizzard banned one of their professional Hearthstone players and publicly dragged them after they dared to suggest that the oppression of their people was bad? Some misguided and perhaps hasty people would argue that it wasn’t the best, certainly. 

Is there something devious in all the miscommunications around this new version of Warcraft 3? Look, you said it, not me. I wouldn’t say anything like that, unless it was under my breath and while Blizzard wasn’t looking, which again is simply due to my respect. Are their loot-box practices obscene enough to have been declared crimes within certain parts of the world? It’s not really my place, or yours, to say.

But one thing’s for sure–Diablo 4, the fourth game in the much loved Diablo franchise, might be good. And because of that, I don’t think we should be so harsh. If anything, we should show Blizzard some love right now, just in case.

Now, look–some people aren’t going to like me saying this, and that’s terrifying to me. I just want to let them know that I don’t hold anything against anyone, really, for whatever it is they’re feeling. Everything everyone thinks and says is valid and good, and that includes Blizzard, whose Overwatch 2 might also be great.

I don’t want to commit to anything here and now, or really at any time if possible, but I think that all the protests and call for boycott are ignoring the fact that Blizzard might eventually make a game that is good and worth playing. The idea of missing out on a good game just because the company that made it engaged in a despicable campaign of abuse against one of its fans should be horrifying to any gamer–after all, games are just for fun, but also extremely important.

So, look, I ask you with tears in my eyes and a slight shake in my hands–can’t we all just get along? Won’t you join me in preordering Diablo 4 right now, just in case there’s a special edition announced down the line and there are eventual stock shortages, but priorities are given to people who commit their money now? Won’t you, like me, tweet directly at Jeff Kaplan to let him know that you think Overwatch is not only good, but above reproach?

All I know for sure is that I forgive Blizzard for everything they’ve done, and everything they’ll ever do, just in case.

Which edition of Diablo 4 will you preorder to show that you forgive Blizzard? Let us know in the comments.

Hand-Wringin' Hank Simperton

The Cowering Critic, "Hand-Wringin' Hank Simperton, works hard to bring you the perspective you haven't heard before: that of a massive entertainment corporation. Hank's lack of spine gives him the flexibility to create scorchingly unusual takes that you could only find elsewhere in a obscure places, like a press release, or even a media statement. Step aside PR handlers - this wild child is here to impress you! Please message him and let him know what you thought of his articles. Please just message him.

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