Will This Long-Winded Opinion Piece With An Open-Ended Question Title Actually Contribute Anything Meaningful?

This opening paragraph of my long-winded opinion piece discusses who I am and gives a bit of background to where I’m coming at the question from. Perhaps I’ll talk a bit about the current state of affairs as well, just as a set up to the rest of the article.

Everything seems fine. But what if it… wasn’t?

That’s the inane and pointless question I’ll be asking you as I pad out this article to fill my quota. As I draw you further into my labyrinth of drivel, I’ll grasp feebly at straws in an attempt to construct an argument, but you’ll be able to tell my heart isn’t really in it.

The numbers that I’ll half-heartedly reference are either clearly selective, or too narrow in scope to provide meaningful data. The quotes I’ll provide are all very obviously taken from a recent controversy within the last 3-4 days, which is what inspired me to write this insipid thinkpiece in the first place. And the anecdotal evidence that I’ll provide is, quite frankly, shaky at best.

Nevertheless I will plow on. “Is it yes or no?” you’ll think to yourself as you make your way through my garbage. “If you put a question mark on the end of a headline and don’t provide a yes-or-no answer I swear I will kill you,” you mutter under your breath.

But we both know how this is going to end.

I stop for a brief moment to embed a YouTube video that explains my points better than I ever could, and in half the time that it would have taken you to read this. Then I shamble my way towards the conclusion, leaking dignity and clearly embarrassed to have wasted so much of your time.

So will this long-winded opinion piece with an open-ended question title actually contribute anything meaningful?

We’ll just have to wait and see.

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