Bug? This Borderlands 3 NPC Doesn’t Have An Obnoxious Catchphrase That Makes You Want To Kill Everyone Around You And Then Yourself
Looks like Borderlands 3 may need to go back to the shop for a rework, with eagle-eared players discovering a potential game-breaking bug: one of the NPC’s in the game says normal things like “hello” and “goodbye” instead of dumb stupid shit like “my brain meats explode a bicycle” and “time for a biscuit…an EPIC biscuit! Cookie-coo-coo!”.
Screenshots and videos verified by Point & Clickbait show that the unbelievably normal NPC, who would you expect to say something cringeworthy like “Wowoga! Wowoga! Butt diamonds!” actually greets the player in a normal fashion when they walk past. Upon loading up the game ourselves, we too were stunned when the NPC simply waved and nodded at us instead of making a reference to a meme that went out of date roughly around the same time as the dinosaurs were killed (or, as is the case in the Borderlands universe, explodenated).
Long-time fans of the series are worried that this discovery means Gearbox aren’t taking the Borderlands philosophy seriously, and that the series’ deep lore is being disrespected.
“The core gameplay of Borderlands is simple,” fan Durrell Fuster explained. “You have a gun. You use that gun to kill a bunch of enemies, who drop bigger guns. Then you head back to town and talk to an NPC who says some absolutely unhinged fucking epic lol random shit that makes you wish you could put that gun you just found in your own mouth and end it all. Then you go out into the desert and do it all again. If it’s any one thing, it’s epic,” he said, while busily subscribing to various YouTube channels.
“How am I supposed to truly know the thrill of a randomly generated gun if I cannot also experience the black despair of a voice actor being paid non-union wages to scream ‘Chugga wugga CHILLI DAWWWWGS’ or ‘Long cat is long’ into a microphone?”
Gearbox CEO Randy Pitchford, who accidentally left a statement on a USB drive in our kitchen, explained that the NPC was a “genuine oversight” which he “deeply regrets” and that “all the girls in that video are at least 18”.
“I take full responsibility for this error,” the text file on the USB drive explained. “I am the one who has the final say on all of the jokes, and more specifically, I am the one who does the daily walk of the QA offices and removes the bodies of our staff who have decided to escape the torment of being exposed to Monty Python references which are older than they are.”
“My mind must have been on other, technically legal matters, and I failed to notice that some of the QA staff were still upright and breathing. Again, I can only apologise. I think what we should all focus on here is that nothing I have ever downloaded or filmed was illegal at the time.”
“Awoooooga,” he added solemnly.
Editor’s note: It has since come to our attention that the line “time for a biscuit…an EPIC biscuit! Cookie-coo-coo!” is actually from the extended edition of Stephen King’s ‘Hearts in Atlantis’. Point and Clickbait apologises for this error.