XCOM 2: Five Must-Have Tactics This Combat Season


Don’t be caught unprepared this combat season! We’ve prepared five quick, easy tactics that anybody can throw together at a moment’s notice while still looking grim and fabulous.

Click on through for all the details!


1. The Reckless Rush

No squad is complete without this classic strategy. Enemies will be surprised and delighted as you and your squad smash blindly into their carefully laid traps, exposing you to brutal lines of fire and endless ambushes designed to leave you dead and smouldering. Forward momentum might carry you through — or it might not! Dance on the edge of danger.

Accessorise with: A well-crafted press release blaming others for your failings.


2. The Pincer Move

Split your forces into two and your haters into bloody chunks with this tried and tested tactic on your next deployment. Turn heads with a flawlessly-executed division of labour that will have your ex wishing they’d never criticised your powerful grip and jagged chitin. Heads can also be turned manually for a rough but raw ‘neck snap’ aesthetic.

Accessorise with: Power dress with the latest fragrance from pincer-hungry celebrities like Beyonce Knowles and Clampy-Hands Hank.


3. The Smokescreen

Take a curling iron and carefully accentuate your forces on the left and right flanks, leaving your middle dangerously exposed — at least to the enemy, who won’t be able to take their eyes off you. When they make their move, a strong foundation that really provides great coverage finishes the move for a brutal counterattack. Savour the crunch of victory and the copper smell of fresh blood as you open a vein with nothing more than your teeth.

Accessorise with: A good handbag really compliments this tactic. Consider a Vitton or Versace clutch or, if you’re feeling ‘out there’ — a cheeky canister of alien DNA!


4. Divide and Conqéré

For a move that will have them talking for days, try this: Break three raw eggs in a bowl, and add two teaspoons of organic coconut butter. Then, deploy all of your forces to one quarter of the battlefield, hunkering down and taking advantage of the terrain to hold out indefinitely against superior numbers. The healthy oils in the eggs and butter will give your victory a natural shine and leave it looking fresher for longer.

Accessorise with: Tank traps.


5. The Glorious Last Stand

A great fallback strategy that even the most sensational commander can use flawlessly at a moment’s notice. This one works best with a wrap or shawl that can be tied around a pole to act as a banner (preferably one where the stains of your own lifeblood really pop!). Grit your teeth and sing on as your friends and loved ones are cut down in front of your eyes, knowing that there’s only one thing that will live on — your sense of style.

Accessorise with: Vocalise. Roar your struggle to the empty sky and scream your defiance to the gods. Less is more!

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