New Steam Tracking Page Shows Workshop Creators How Much Valve Is Exploiting Them In Real Time

Valve is honouring its commitment to transparency and accountability today, with the launch of a new website that allows Steam Workshop Creators to watch in real time as money that was supposed to be theirs is transferred into Valve’s accounts instead.

The new page updates every time a Steam Workshop item is purchased, providing the item’s creator with an animated breakdown of how Valve’s original 70% percentage expands to 80%, then to 90%, and finally to 95%. Loud ‘cha-ching’ noises play each time Valve’s percentage increases, adding to the interactivity of the experience.

After each money-siphoning animation is finished and the remaining 5% transferred to the Steam Workshop Item’s creator, the website pauses automatically to allow them time to weep uncontrollably, before continuing again.

Valve promise that the page will soon receive further updates to “increase the accuracy and integrity of the process”, including a slider where Steam Workshop Creators can fine-tune the amount of unpaid labour they put into each piece before submitting it.

“Having this data allows us to better connect Steam Workshop Creators with the correct level of despair and hopelessness,” explained a disinterested-looking Gabe Newell as he carefully applied small electric shocks to the exposed brain of an employee and made notes on a clipboard.

“Once we’ve perfected the algorithm, we’ll be able to offer Steam Workshop creators a prediction of exactly how much they’re going to be exploited, before we’ve even started exploiting them,” Newell continued.

Workshop Creators are invited to express their thoughts on the new project, but Newell said he wasn’t going to provide a contact form or an email address.

“That shouldn’t be necessary,” explained the Valve CEO. “We’re in the early stages of a developing a proprietary algorithm which will connect us with the right feedback. Once it’s completed, we should be able to take item creators out of the equation entirely.”

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