Blizzard Office Disaster: Secret Santa Cancelled After Everyone Gets Duplicate Sprays

A frustrated Jeff Kaplan has ordered the Overwatch office Secret Santa event cancelled this year after early rumours suggested everyone was planning to fill their presents with dozens of sprays that nobody wants.

Kaplan’s internal memo, which like all Overwatch material was immediately leaked to the public, claims that “The planned Secret Santa event will not take place this year due to management receiving a large volume of complaints about the poor quality of present contents, including many duplicates.”

Last year’s Secret Santa event unfolded in a similar fashion, with many Blizzard developers eagerly opening their presents expecting a personalised gift, only to be hit in the face with a colourful blast of small JPEG images.

“This Christmas, we had planned to introduce more than 50 new items to the present pool,” continues Kaplan’s memo. “However, we love getting your feedback, and what we’re hearing is that you want books, gift vouchers, handmade food, and other things that aren’t just a big spray of JPEG icons. We’ll try to make that happen.”

Blizzard CEO Mike Morhaime reportedly chimed into the discussion to suggest that staff could spend their salary money on “buying more secret santa presents in discounted bundles”, but the idea was not well received.

“Spending our hard-earned money on something without knowing what we’ll get out of it? That’s a fucking stupid idea,” replied an incensed Kaplan.

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