Post-Mortem: Cliffy B Regrets Launching With Slogan “Buy Lawbreakers Or Suck My Dick”
As LawBreakers player numbers continue to dwindle, outspoken industry figure Clifford Bleszinski has cast a sober eye across the situation and announced that he regrets demanding the public suck him off.
“It seemed like a good idea at the time,” explained Bleszinski as he flexed alone in an empty office and made kissy noises towards his biceps. “Solid marketing strategy. I ran it past the marketing guys and they told me I was onto a winner. One of them said he’d buy six copies, if it was a choice between that and sucking me off. Six copies!”
“I ran some numbers and figured if everyone else was making the same choice he was, we’d be rolling in money very quickly.”
The game design luminary was more withdrawn about his decision to spend a sizeable portion of the marketing budget on a skyscraper-sized poster of him uttering the now famous ‘suck me off’ ultimatum, suggesting that perhaps forcing the general public to view the words “suck my dick” in seventy-metre high letters was a “misstep”.
“Probably misjudged the tone on that one,” said Bleszinski. “Missed the mark, got overconfident. Sometimes you can come on too strong. Everyone said a regular billboard size was the way to go, but I thought I knew better. This is LawBreakers, baby! Suck me off or go home!”
“There’s a capital B in the middle of the name,” he added after a moment. “Law, and breakers. Pretty clever.”