Grand Theft Auto Developer Reveals That Ten Years Of Systematic Tax Avoidance Was “Satire”
Rockstar North, developer of the blockbuster series Grand Theft Auto, has floored critics this week by revealing that the previous ten years of systematic and deliberate corporate tax avoidance was “an act of satire”.
Speaking to Point & Clickbait, Rockstar North co-founder and president Sam Houser explained that by using a complex series of tax loopholes to avoid the millions of pounds it should have paid on its billions of pounds in pure profit, the company was actually “telling a really funny joke, which you would get if you weren’t such a puritan.”
“By completely avoiding our obligations to society, we are in fact holding up a mirror to that society,” Houser confirmed. “Everyone who isn’t an uptight politically correct feminist knows this.” When asked about his ‘This Is What A Feminist Looks Like’ shirt, Houser confirmed, brilliantly, that it was “also satire.”
Houser went on to blow our tiny party-pooper minds with the exclusive news that his multiple multi-million dollar mansions and his personal net worth – estimated at more than $100 million for reasons presumably unrelated to massive tax avoidance – is also a “rip-roaring pisstake of the inequality in society these days.” Incredible!
The revelation that Rockstar North’s unchecked corporate greed was actually hilarious satire has completely destroyed critics of the company, who now have been forced to reluctantly congratulate these master storytellers for their thoughtful critique of American capitalism.
“Oh lmao,” confirmed local Edinburgh resident George McGillivray, who has been waiting eighteen months for much-needed surgery because the United Kingdom public health system is underfunded as a result of widespread corporate tax avoidance.
“I was honestly ready to get all riled up there, but, fucking hell,” he said, doubled over either in pain from his deteriorating condition, or possibly from laughter. “Satire! What a jape. Those rascals can do no wrong.”
RIP George McGillivray (1992-2019)