Everyday Hero: This Woman Spends 30 Hours A Week Playing Games Even Though She Could Be Having Sex With Me
Sadly, there are so many people in this world who are only looking out for themselves. Now more than ever, we all have to stop being so selfish and come together as a community of gamers.
That’s why it’s so inspiring to see everyday heroes like Valerie Burdlet — the sort of hot woman who you would naturally expect to be attracted to me and probably be having sex with me, the guy who’s good at having sex, right now. But instead, unbelievably, this absolute legend has decided to play video games instead and ignore me completely. What an inspiration.
It would be so easy for a hot chick like Valerie to just give in to her base instincts and have sex with me. Frankly, a lot of women are doing it — so many in fact that I couldn’t even tell you any of their names if asked, simply because there are so many of them. It’s a sad, sexy indictment of our society, but there it is.
When Valerie turned me down, however — despite what I must point out was a really clever pick-up line from me in her Twitch chat (“you’re good at call of duty; here’s a call of booty”) — I knew that here was someone who was willing to make sacrifices and protect what really mattered: video games.
As we speak, this deadset role model is continuing to play those games, somehow able to ignore my repeated Twitter mentions and quite frankly very tasteful requests for nudes and shots of her nostrils (DO NOT kinkshame me for living my truth) in her Instagram DMs and comments. How does she do it? If only everyone else was as brave and selfless as this noble warrior, we’d all be in a better place as a society, and I’d have more time on my hands (because of all the sex).
Wow! SHARE if you think Valerie should just have sex with me a little bit, since she’s earned so much credit with all of her good work.