All Call of Duty Games After Call of Duty 3 To Be Retconned As ‘Fever-Dream Of Injured Normandy Trooper’

Rumours floating out of Activision HQ this week point to a interesting pivot from the blockbuster publishing house, which will cement 2006’s Call of Duty 3 as the last canonical title in the series. All titles beyond that point will be re-classified as part of the ‘Delirium Timeline’, which takes place entirely in the head of injured Normandy trooper Private Ted McGuire as he languishes in a trench, dying of infection.

“Activision respects the great times that players had in games like Modern Warfare, Advanced Warfare, and Infinite Warfare, each of which never happened and was brought on by various external stimuli breaking through into McGuire’s unconscious, panicked mind,” explains the leaked memo.

“But it’s time to return to what made this series great: shooting the shit out of some Germans.”

Point & Clickbait understands that the next Call of Duty game will pick up where McGuire’s infection kicks off, nursing him back to health just in time for another glorious, morally pure charge into enemy lines against the hated Nazi foe.

“Private McGuire’s feverish imagination has provided us with fantastic entertainment over the years. His horrific pain and unimaginable agony have brought us some truly amazing storylines and experiences — none of which, we remind you, are canon.”

“Today, we honour his sacrifice by returning to the only war where there were definitely Good Guys and Bad Guys, and we’re pretty sure we were the Good Guys: World War 2.”

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