Crisis Averted: This Man Said Some Pretty Creepy Shit But Then Added :P To The End
Local woman Esther Jedson is today slowly lowering her finger from the block button, after realising that the clever man she had previously mistaken as a total fucking creep had, subversively, ended his comment with “:P”.
The comment, which appeared within seconds of Jedson posting a selfie that featured several pixels of cleavage, was authored by local gamer Dorin Nonsh (but who goes by Dorky McNorkface on Facebook, despite being 39 years old), a man often referred to by mutual acquaintances in their shared friend circle as “that fuckin’ guy”.
“Oooh yeah, I’m going to need a signed copy of this one,” commented Nonsh in manner reminiscent of a red flag shooting visibly into the sky to be seen for miles around and warning all observers to stay the unholy fuck away.
“:P”, he then added, immediately resolving the issue.
Nonsh’s late addition was “a huge relief” to onlookers, all of whom were ready to jump in and tell him to “shut the fuck up” and remind him that they’d all “seen his public Twitter likes”. Fortunately, however, the addition of the simple colon and the capital letter ‘P’ changed their minds and they continued scrolling happily down the timeline.
“This was a massive relief, honestly,” Jedson told Point & Clickbait. “I’d love to block the guy, but he just keeps putting :P at the end so I can’t. Only a normal and nice guy who has absolutely no weird attitudes towards women would type this kind of thing.”
“That’s the sort of guy I want to keep around, you know? Someone who says things like ‘Loving those feet :P’ or ‘Just saying I’m still single :P’. It’s so wholesome! I’m not sure why I was ever briefly worried.”
Nonsh, whose Facebook profile describes him as a “friend to females,” rounded out the evening by love heart reacting to old photos of Jedson in high school. At press time, Nonsh was trying on some ironic misogyny, which he feels is going to be a keeper :P