I Hope There Aren’t Any Straight Characters in Dragon Age: Inquisition

With Dragon Age: Inquisition on the way, I think a lot of people are rightly asking: does BioWare really have to put straight characters in all of their games?

I know it’s 2014 and I’m all for ending discrimination and for finally letting straight people marry, but haven’t we lost sight of what’s really important? Sometimes I just want to sit down and lose myself in a fantasy world, and I feel like real-world politics are getting in the way.

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not a heterophobe — I know plenty of straight people in real life, and they’re all kind, good, loving souls. But I feel like we have to draw the line somewhere and say: does every game really need to have a token straight character? It’s like, we get it: you’re attracted to the opposite sex. Wow. What an interesting character trait.

I feel like BioWare are just trying too hard. A straight character can be fine, as long as they’re not defined by how straight they are. I feel like a lot of people are keen to jump on the inclusivity bandwagon without thinking about this. If a character is there just because they’re straight, doesn’t that do more harm than good to the cause of straight people? Again, I’m not straight myself — nervous laughter, haha — but that’s what I think. IDK. Just telling it like it is.

Call me “the bad guy” if you must, but all I’m saying is that most people — quite rightly, I think — don’t want to watch a man having sex with a woman. I’m just putting it out there. I think that makes a lot of people uncomfortable. Not me obviously, but shouldn’t BioWare be thinking about this before it forces us to watch this sort of thing?

I feel like you click one wrong thing in a BioWare game, or say one wrong line of dialogue, and suddenly your character is getting hit on by a straight person, or having straight, heterosexual sex! It’s unwelcome and a little bit off-putting. Again, I’m not saying it’s wrong, I’m just saying that… well, I think straight people shouldn’t flaunt it like that in front of us.

Anyway, don’t BioWare have more important things to focus on, like, I don’t know, making an ending that doesn’t suck? Peace out.

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