Origin Access Thrills PC Gamers By Giving Them Entirely New Way To Complain About EA
EA’s announcement that their Xbox One ‘EA Access’ program will shortly be available on PC has caused spontaneous celebration among PC gamers, who were running out of things to whinge about.
The program, which will be re-branded ‘Origin Access’, allows PC gamers to pay a recurring monthly subscription fee to gain access to stupid games that they didn’t want anyway because EA ruined them.
“This is great news for me and my friends,” gushed a thrilled Wendy Moreno. “I’ve typed the same belligerent rant about EA into comment sections so many times that I was beginning to think maybe I was wasting my energy!”
“This has really put the fire back under me. Wow! Thanks EA!”
“EA are shit, by the way,” she added, as an afterthought.
Moreno’s friends are similarly thrilled by the announcement, explaining that her constant ranting about EA was “getting pretty repetitive” and driving them “up the fucking wall”.
“I’ll probably give her new rant at least one token listen, before tuning out entirely.”
EA were not available to comment on these exciting new complaints from perpetually unsatisfied PC gamers, saying that they were too busy “making loads of money”.