Apex Legends Developer Thrilled To See Ninja Play Game He Worked On, Earn More Money In One Day Than He Will Make In His Entire Life

Local game developer Carl Morton, who works on Apex Legends, told reporters today that he reacted with “mixed emotions” to the news that EA had paid streaming megastar Tyler ‘Ninja’ Blevins $1 million to promote the game.

“I mean on the one hand, it’s certainly great that something I worked on is out there and someone as well-known as Ninja is enjoying it,” Morton said. “But on the other hand, fuck me sideways, are you fucking serious, Jesus fucking Christ,” he added thoughtfully.

Punching some numbers into a calculator and working out that EA paid Ninja the same amount of money in just five minutes as he was paid over an entire year, Morton went on to explain that “aaaaaaaa holy shit,” and “get absolutely fucked.”

Morton’s sentiments were shared by ex-Visceral employees, who found themselves laid off in 2017 when EA decided to “pivot” from “employing them” to “not employing them”.

“It makes sense in hindsight,” said former Visceral programmer Angela Doyle after she had finished screaming.

“They needed to build up some cash reserves so they could spend it all on paying this one guy instead of all of us. Pretty normal and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaafuck YOU,” she added, putting her fist through a nearby window.

Electronic Arts defended the decision to hire Ninja for $1 million, with CEO Andrew ‘Sports’ Wilson saying that “Ninja’s massive global reach means more sales for Apex Legends, which means greater salaries and bonuses for the executive staff, and, more importantly, a new ping pong table for the Respawn office!”

“That’s what we call a ‘Chicken Dinner Royale’ kind of situation,” he added, smiling broadly.

You may also like...