Peripheral Manufacturers Running Out Of Scary Animals To Name Mice And Keyboards After
Major gaming peripheral manufacturers have convened an urgent meeting this week after a global shortage on scary bad-ass animals has seen production grind to a halt.
With only a limited number of nature’s animals meeting the high standards of scary bad-assery required to get their name on something as important as a gaming mouse, peripheral companies are increasingly fighting over the rights to the remaining fully sick animals.
Point & Clickbait understands that many companies are accusing Razer of taking “more than their fair share” of the scary bad-ass animal names, leaving others to fight over the scraps.
“We all agreed, for example, that we would share the names of scary bad-ass insects that we could think of equally,” grumbled one frustrated designer at Logitech. “We are extremely disappointed to see that Razer has stolen all the cool spiders and scorpions and shit and left us with nothing.”
Logitech, Razer and the major companies are committed to exploring new naming areas, with promising new leads discovered in the areas of swords, minerals, ancient kings and Celtic mythology, and “dogs of a breed with an average weight of more than 50 kilograms”.
However, the production halt has seen gamers express concerns that future peripheral names might become “too easy to understand”.
“A vital part of buying a gaming mouse or keyboard is staring at the box for two hours, wondering exactly what the fuck makes the Vorpal Kodiak Venom MX 7 a better purchase than the Vorpal Kodiak Venom MX 9: Titanium Hades Edition,” explained gamer Brian Thomas.
“This isn’t some casual gamer shit, you know?”