“Hurt and Betrayed”: Junkrat On Not Making The Top 10 For Overwatch Porn Searches
Explosives expert and disabled mobility advocate Jamison “Junkrat” Fawkes has today lashed out at wankers everywhere, saying he feels “hurt and betrayed” by their failure to wank him into the recently-released top ten list of online Overwatch porn searches.
In an exclusive interview conducted on top of a hotly contested control point, Fawkes expressed his rage at what he felt was the “bloody unfairness, mate” of the results.
“Do ya need me to take me bloody top off? Oh wait! I’m already shirtless! FUCK YOU!” he shouted angrily, pausing only to fire 27 grenades blindly over a nearby building.
“If Blizzard put my bloody costume on one of their hourglass women with one of their perfect faces you’d all be jacking off right now! You dirty fucks!”
The Australian, who ranked 23rd in the list, is confident of improving his result next year — “even if I have to kill number 22 to do it,” he said, casting a knowing eye over a nearby Bastion.