Local Man Ruins Children’s Movie By Excitedly Naming Each Character As They Appear On Screen

Local children have asked that gamer and comic fan Prent Crudges be removed from the movie theater today after he ruined the viewing experience by loudly saying the name of each character as they appeared on the screen.

Daisy, 11, told reporters that she was simply trying to enjoy a quiet mid-day session of Avengers: Endgame during work hours when the “noisy” Crudges began saying things like “Hawkeye!” loudly to himself.

“Then the man would say something about the way Hawkeye looked or the way he spoke to another hero,” confirmed the frustrated young moviegoer. “He would say ‘Hawkeye did that in issue 81’ or something.”

“He did this when he saw every hero. It was very noisy and I didn’t like it,” Daisy added thoughtfully.

Fellow Endgame viewer Marcus, who is nine years old and has watched Ant Man six times, said that he was already predisposed to disliking Crudges because the man “bought all of the drink cups with Mr. Starks face on them and I wanted one.”

When contacted for comment, Crudges suggested that the children should simply go back to school, and that he was not sorry for appreciating the “layered themes” of Endgame on a deeper level than they did.

Endgame is the culmination of years of cinematic history in the making,” explained Crudges as he attempted to fit seven limited edition Tony Stark holographic metal soda cups into his bag.

“There are so many moving parts to this. My critics have failed to understand me, just as much as they have failed to understand the cultural significance of what Marvel have achieved here.”

“The entire movie is nearly three hours long, which quite frankly is longer than the lifespan of the average child. Nine year olds should be at home being breastfed, or whatever it is they do.”

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