Only 993,410 Signatures Needed Until Obama Stops Censorship Of Anime Titties

United States President Barack Obama is “ready and willing” to step in and help gamers fight back against the scourge of censorship, as soon as another 993,410 people sign an online petition.

Following the release of Japanese game Xenoblade Chronicles X in the west, outraged gamers were outraged to discover that the game had been censored, preventing them from customising the size of the breasts of the various female protagonists, one of whom is a 13 year-old girl.

Still reeling from this devastating news, outrage levels only rose when it was revealed that the optional skimpy metal bikini outfit had been removed from the game, preventing players from engaging in the important artistic activity of perving on a 13 year-old girl.

“This is an outrage,” wrote one angry gamer, angrily. “The entire game hinges around the ability of me to adjust the sizes of breasts, and to leeringly ogle digital minors. Without it, there may as well be no game at all.”

Fortunately for these upstanding freedom fighters, Barack Obama is ready to roll.

The Commander-in-Chief of the United States explained to Point & Clickbait that he was “absolutely committed” to the idea of receiving a petition with one million signatures on it and that when he did, he would “swoop into action”.

“If you ask me, getting upset about not being able to perve on a pre-pubsescent girl… that’s pretty fucked up,” said Obama.

“However, ancient and terrible magic binds me as the holder of this office to pass into law any petition which reaches one million signatures. This dark pact, signed by my predecessors in blood, is now the only hope these people have.”

“I’ll be counting down the days until 993,410 more people are willing to say ‘No more!’ to censorship, and demand the right to see under-age cartoon breasts.”

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