Desperate Schick Hydrobot Can’t Understand Why Geoff Keighley Still Won’t Return Calls

The Schick Hydrobot’s planned three-act “comeback special” at this year’s Game Awards may be in jeopardy, with host Geoff Keighley somehow always “busy” when it comes time to discuss the performance.

As the hours count down to the 2018 Game Awards, time is running out for the Hydrobot to cast the singers and backup dancers, as well as begin the rehearsals and costuming necessary to perform the “multiple musical numbers” contained in its draft script, which Keighley has so far strangely been unable to find time to read.

After debuting at the 2016 Game Awards, the Hydrobot was keen to revisit many of the “layered themes” of its initial performance again in 2017, but an “unfortunate scheduling error” meant that there was no time for the popular children’s entertainer to take the stage last year.

Speaking to Point & Clickbait, host Geoff Keighley said that he was still “a great friend and admirer” of the Hydrobot and that allegations of him avoiding the sentient safety razor cyborg gamer “out of a deep and abiding self-loathing for what I have become” were simply not true.

“We talk all the time,” said Keighley. “All the time. We’re always hanging out. It was an absolute pleasure to bring out the Hydrobot for 2016. We got a lot of…. engagement from it. The reception was definitely, you know, it was… it was loud.”

“I’m really keen to talk about ways the two of us can work together again, I’m just, you know… I’m really busy, watching trailers and stuff,” Keighley concluded as he pointedly ignored his ringing phone.

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