Online Poker Champion Constantly Announcing “I, AM GAMBLOR!” From The Next Room

Jim, 25, leads a life of constant interruption.

He shares an apartment with James, 32, a professional online poker champion who has recently taking to declaring “I, AM GAMBLOR!” at regular intervals from the next room.

“He just keeps fucking saying it,” Jim told Point & Clickbait. “I can’t even watch the collected works of Nicolas Cage in peace. The newer ‘mortgage’ ones, like Next and Knowing and especially Season of the Witch, which is pretty underrated. It has Ron Perlman in it.”

“Remember that part in Aliens: Resurrection where he fully hangs off the ladder and shoots the alien in the face but then a tiny spider startles him? He’s action and comedy. He’s life, and to see him co-starring alongside Nic, I mean, that’s as close to relativism as film has ever been. He was in City of Lost Children, too, interestingly.”

“That’s a French movie, and let me tell you,” he chuckles knowingly, “Ron is not French!”

“I, AM GAMBLOR!” James announces from behind his bedroom door, really working the ‘rrr’.

It is at this point in our interview that Jim snaps.

Fuck you, Gamblor!” he screams, hurling a paper plate covered in coagulated cheese at James’ room, but it just sort of arcs immediately into the floor. He crosses his arms over his cold body and sulks back into the couch they bought together at IKEA when they first moved in together and everything was fresh and new.