Highly Skilled Assassin Accidentally Stabs Innocent Man To Death For The Fifth Time Today

Corvo Attano, feared assassin, royal protector and relentless defender of the crown, has once again brutally murdered yet another innocent man while fumbling for the correct button.

“Shit! No! Shit shit shit,” the mysterious avenger was heard to say, as the innocent shopkeeper’s severed head went sailing across the room.

“Ah, fuck,” confirmed Attano as angry guards began to chase him around the town. “No no, no, ah, shit.”

The murdered shopkeeper joins a string of victims left behind by this highly-trained warrior, but Attano is confident that he will “get it right sooner or later”.

“Oh, hrmm” he concluded heroically as he tapped into unknowable eldritch powers to wrench an innocent woman’s skeleton forcefully from her body and send the limp, fleshy remains hurtling off a cliff.

“Nope, not that one either.”

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