EA CEO Peter Moore Spotted Secretly Buying Hundreds Of Copies Of Titanfall 2
Peter Moore is today denying accusations that he was seen leaving a local gaming store with an entire shopping trolley full of Titanfall 2 discs in an attempt to prop up disappointingly low sales.
“This idea that Titanfall 2 sales are lower than we hoped… it’s just not true,” Moore explained as Titanfall 2 discs fell out of his trouser legs and clattered to the floor with a loud noise.
“Rumours that I am desperately tired because I spend my nights driving an unmarked SUV through the streets, purchasing as many copies as I can find — these rumours are categorically false.”
“This SUV simply does not exist and if it did it would be a van instead as they have more room for discs.”
The news has reassured EA shareholders, who were initially worried when they were greeted at the meeting by a Groucho Marx moustache-wearing Moore, who asked them if they would be willing to buy “strictly legitimate” copies of Titanfall 2 from his “friend” for cash.
“If Peter says that Titanfall 2 is selling well, then that’s the end of it,” commented one shareholder, trying to look away as Moore strained to close a bulging cupboard full of Titanfall 2 discs in the background.