Microsoft Showrunners Plead With Phil Spencer To Unlock Dressing Room Door
Microsoft’s unveiling of the upcoming ‘Scorpio’ console at E3 2017 has hit a snag, with Xbox head Phil Spencer barricading himself inside his dressing room and refusing to come out.
Despite being reassured that there is “no Phil in here”, the showrunners remain convinced that Mr. Spencer is, in fact, locked inside the dressing room and must soon appear on stage or the already restless audience will soon begin rioting.
Microsoft executives have been concerned about Spencer’s behaviour for some days now in the lead up to the E3 presentation, with Spencer attempting to lose his assistant on an unscheduled trip to the docks before being dive-tackled halfway up the gang-ramp of a boat bound for South America.
Marketing material around the Scorpio has remained deliberately vague, with Spencer somehow failing to provide the tech specs, engineering blueprints, or prototype imagery requested of him multiple times.
Point & Clickbait understands that showrunners are now sliding chocolates under the door in an attempt to coax the reluctant executive out, promising “more candy” if he will only take the stage and explain to them – and to the world at large – what “Scorpio” is.
At the time of printing, there was a muffled sound of breaking glass from behind the locked door, followed by footsteps moving fast and then a car engine starting, all of which some hopeful employees believe will be part of “the Scorpio plan”.