Local Man Practices Classic Chuck Norris Jokes In Anticipation Of World Of Warcraft Classic
Local Man Aaron Lambert is today rehearsing all of his best Chuck Norris jokes so that he can jump straight back in when World of Warcraft launches the new classic servers and he ends up stuck in the Barrens for another 10 levels.
Sitting alone in his office with a notepad of draft jokes in one hand, Lambert half-heartedly read some of the jokes aloud, trying not to meet his own gaze in the reflection on his monitor.
“Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris’ leg…” said Lambert. “After five days of excruciating pain… the cobra died? Really? Jesus Christ, this is some dire shit,” he concluded thoughtfully.
“Chuck Norris’ blood type is…. AK-47?” he added in disbelief, throwing the notebook to the floor. “Did I used to laugh at this shit?”
At press time, Lambert had moved to the bathroom and begun practicing saying “Your mum” into the mirror, trying to get the perfect 2005 intonation on the classic rejoinder, ignoring confused glances from his concerned partner.
“Your mum,” he said. “Your mum. Your mum. Bloody hell, how did I used to say it again? Yoooour mum.”