Jeff Kaplan Promises To Make The Payload Gay Too If It Means You Will Stay On The Fucking Thing
Blizzard Entertainment has turned heads with another surprise announcement: the payload in Overwatch is “gay as hell”, according to director Jeff Kaplan.
Kaplan broke the surprise announcement over voice chat only moments after losing a game on the Dorado map when his team abandoned the payload.
Point & Clickbait understands that the frustrated Kaplan promised to make the payload “super gay” if it meant his team would actually remember where it was next time.
Lead writer Michael Chu has been tapped to hastily write a 3,000-word short story explaining how the newly-gay payload fits into official Overwatch lore.
“The payload is an omnic now, I guess,” Chu told Point & Clickbait. “A gay omnic who looks like a large car? The payload is a gay car.”
Chu was unable to confirm whether every payload on every map was gay, or just the Dorado payload, so eagle-eyed fans will need to “do their own research” and “uncover the clues”.
The news has been poorly received by some sections of the gaming community, who are accusing Kaplan and the Overwatch team of “shoving LGBTI themes down our throats”.
“I just don’t see why Blizzard is forcing me to go to their website, download a 3,000 word PDF, and then read it,” said YouTuber Andrew ‘TheLogicBeard’ Strickland in his new video.
“Forcing me to submit to this kind of ideological indoctrination is disgusting. You simply can’t play Overwatch without being bombarded with this stuff.”