Rise Of Skywalker Movie Of The Novel Announced, Will Explain Glaring Errors Discovered In Rise Of Skywalker Novel
Following the release of the Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker movie, many fans hoped that the novelisation would clear up some confusing or unaddressed plot points. Now with that novel released and many questions still remaining, Disney has taken the unusual step of announcing a Rise of Skywalker: The Novel: The Movie movie to continue work on what it says are “valid complaints”.
Speaking at a press conference earlier today, Disney spokesperson Berk Turblen revealed that the company remained “unsatisfied” with the number of “people yelling at us online, and also the plot holes too”.
“We just want to take this opportunity to say a big thank you to JJ Abrams for coming in at a difficult time and pushing Rise of Skywalker over the line, and of course also to author Rae Carson for stepping up getting us a little closer to finishing what JJ started. Absolutely stellar work.”
“Unfortunately,” Turblen continued as he pulled out his phone, “I’ve just seen someone named @The_Ass_Pisser point out that none of what the book or the film has done made any sense or offered any emotional payoff, so we really need to try again from the top.”
“Look, they took a photo of the paragraph and everything,” said Turblen, holding out his phone to the assembled journalists. “Oh man, and it’s been retweeted 100 times. Fuck, that’s too many. Yikes.”
“Maclunkey”, he added ponderously.
Disney has asked journalists to hold off on announcing that veteran director and altogether steady hand Richard Linklater has been attached to the film, as they anticipate that he will be fired from the project “any moment now.”
The news of a movie of the novel of the movie has energised fans, as well as people who still call themselves fans despite spending the last three years braying for blood. , It’s had an especially positive impact on members of the public who eagerly attend screenings of popular culture events in order to feel they are relevant but don’t really take anything away from them.
“Hell yeah,” cinemagoer Jenny Denst told us enthusiastically, despite not owning a pop culture focused YouTube channel. “I’ve probably got enough peer pressure momentum built up to see that.”
“Nooooooooo!,” she then shouted, unnecessarily.