Finally! This Website Tracks Which Games Allow You To Seduce The Vicar
Following in the vein of popular websites like ‘Does the Dog Die?’, a new website run by gamer and vicar enthusiast Jessica Skunk finally answers the question on everyone’s lips – will this game let me seduce the vicar?
Sometimes you pick up a game because it’s offering you 100+ hours of intense action, customisable characters, a well-realised world or a story that will blow you away. But if you’re anything like us, sometimes there’s only one question that really matters, and you don’t want to waste your hard earned money on a game only to find out that the vicar simply cannot be seduced.
“So far, I’m finding that very few games let you seduce the vicar”, a despondent Skunk told us through a mouthful of plain white bread.
Indeed, it seems to be rough out there for players who need that seduceable vicar in their lives, with Skunk’s website listing 512 games ‘not containing’ a vicar, 660 that ‘won’t let you seduce’, and just 18 games in which players can meet and seduce the vicar.
“I remember the first time a game let me seduce the vicar”, Skunk says, somehow still chewing on the same mouthful of bread. “The great Apostle Adventures from 1985. A classic in vicar seduction.”
The other titles listed on Skunk’s site include The Forbidden Love, Leisure Suit Larry: Religious Now For Some Reason, The Beach Port Incident, Seduce the Vicar Simulator 15: A Chance Meeting In The Laundromat, Bawdy Bishops, and Call of Duty: Black Ops III.
Although initial website traffic has been slow and the social media reception “largely unpleasant”, Skunk hopes that her site will show developers that there is a market for games about seducing the vicar.
“One of the Tetris blocks is canonically a vicar,” she said. “Bet you can’t guess which one.”