Pathetic: Feeble Game Journalist Makes Rookie Errors In Unboxing Video
Weak and useless games journalist Hent Bazeggi has been reduced to tears today after his pathetic attempt at an unboxing video revealed just how out of touch he, and by extension all game journalists, are with regular people.
Real gamers everywhere were treated to a frankly fucking apalling display of limp-wristed ineptitude live on stream this morning, as the inner-city elite Bazeggi turned the collectors edition box over and over in his hands, looking for “the openy bit”. Weaker. Than. Piss.
Having failed at this simple tutorial level obstacle, the latte-sipping dipshit then spent (by our superior estimation) 27 minutes trying and failing to pick up a box cutter – the simple, stationary object slipping and falling out of his limp fingers, which were too weak from not playing enough Dark Souls or other good games that real gamers like.
Rather than simply accept that he – and, again, by extension literally all games journalists everywhere – just didn’t get unboxing in the same way that a true gamer would, this hipster dork then decided to double down, which just made everything worse.
A video of Bazeggi taking a run-up and attempting to kick the collectors edition, only to miss completely and trip on his copy of The Communist Manifesto before knocking himself out on his shelf of soy kombucha jars, is now the number one topic on gaming YouTube channels. Commenters like REALGAMINGHDNEWSTRAILERSDAILY and SkepticTheHedgehog have described Bazeggi’s scrub-like flailing as “mega lul” and “clickbait, somehow”.
“It’s just like real gamers everywhere have always genuinely suspected,” SkepticTheHedgehog told Point & Clickbait, after making sure we were also real gamers by forcing us to masturbate to completion over a picture of Tifa from Final Fantasy VII eating an egg.
“Game journalists pretend to like games so they can get jobs at websites and then trick us into clicking their links which will pay their salary, all so that they can destroy the games industry which they secretly hate because real game developers who don’t believe in the feminist agenda are releasing proper games which have difficult combat that reveal these games journalists as frauds,” he explained.
“It’s honestly so transparent that it’s embarrassing.”
At the time of writing, the video, ignorantly titled “Unboxings Be Like…” despite serving as such a poor example of an unboxing, has a mere 150,000 views.