EA CEO Peter Moore Spotted Secretly Buying Hundreds Of Copies Of Titanfall 2

Peter Moore is today denying accusations that he was seen leaving a local gaming store with an entire shopping trolley full of Titanfall 2 discs in an attempt to prop up disappointingly low sales.

“This idea that Titanfall 2 sales are lower than we hoped… it’s just not true,” Moore explained as Titanfall 2 discs fell out of his trouser legs and clattered to the floor with a loud noise.

“Rumours that I am desperately tired because I spend my nights driving an unmarked SUV through the streets, purchasing as many copies as I can find — these rumours are categorically false.”

“This SUV simply does not exist and if it did it would be a van instead as they have more room for discs.”

The news has reassured EA shareholders, who were initially worried when they were greeted at the meeting by a Groucho Marx moustache-wearing Moore, who asked them if they would be willing to buy “strictly legitimate” copies of Titanfall 2 from his “friend” for cash.

“If Peter says that Titanfall 2 is selling well, then that’s the end of it,” commented one shareholder, trying to look away as Moore strained to close a bulging cupboard full of Titanfall 2 discs in the background.

Did you like this article? All of our equally good jokes from 2016 are now on Kickstarter in magazine form! Think of how attractive and powerful you would be with such an artefact in your possession! (Very)

Incredible. Now read these

Great For You Content From The Online Web