PlayStation Takes Inspiration From PC Gaming By Rendering Expensive Hardware Instantly Obsolete
PC gamers worldwide are excited this week with the news that Sony is about to adopt one of the most thrilling parts of PC gaming: the sinking feeling of knowing that your expensive hardware is now second-rate garbage.
Sony’s plan to release a better, stronger, more powerful PlayStation “4.5” this year has drawn ire from people who “unreasonably” expected that their purchase might have long-lasting value.
“Console gamers have become lazy,” explained Sony president Kaz Hirai. “Making one single hardware purchase and expecting that it should last for an entire cycle? This is a child’s dream.”
“We’ve seen the way PC gamers have been operating: trapped in a relentless cycle of self-loathing, crying, and haemorrhaging money. We think this is what the console experience has been missing.”
Gamers are hopeful that the proposed “PS4.5” will be the last upgrade, and that technology will “no longer improve” once they’ve purchased the new, more powerful PS4.
“I mean, that’s it, right?” explained desperately hopeful gamer Robin Hale. “There’s no way technology could get better than this, right? Right?”
When contacted for this story, a Microsoft representative explained that the company had no plans to deliver an upgraded “Xbox 1.5”, saying that “self-loathing and crying” was already a key part of the Xbox One experience.